How can I answer my 7-year-old’s questions about the vulva and the clitoris?
What a great question.
Quite honestly, lots of us grew up without much information about the vulva and the clitoris.
(I have a story for you about that, in our episode this week.)
So let’s talk about it!
The first thing we can do, if our kid has questions about these parts,
is to tell them they’re awesome for asking!
We can say, you’ve a great brain.
And if we don’t know the answer, or if we need a minute,
we can say,
I’m so glad you asked! I’m not actually sure, but I’m going to find out for you.
It’s always ok to tell our kids
that we need to go find something out for them.
The second thing we can do is make use of books.
Books are our best friends when it comes to questions like these.
You can get The Vagina Bible, by Jen Gunter.
Or The Vagina Book, by Dr Jenn Conti.
Or for younger kids, It’s So Amazing! by Robie Harris.
In fact, I always say, use more than one book.
Because different books are great at different things.
And here’s the other great thing about books.
If we have a house that has books like these on the shelves,
it sends a secret signal to our kids
that we talk about vulvas and clitorises in this house.
It makes it easier for our kids to come to us.
And of course it makes it easier for us to help them.
But what can we actually say? about the vulva and the clitoris?
This week, in a programme that I run
where parents learn to have sensitive conversations with their kids,
one parent told us that her boys call it the ‘glitteris’. 🙂
As in, glitter, and fun, and fairies!
Isn’t that great?
Because isn’t that such a perfect way to think about the clitoris?
Its whole job is fun and joy.
So, when we’re explaining what the clitoris is to our kids,
we can take inspiration from the idea of the ‘glitteris’. 🙂
We can say that the clitoris is designed to feel good.
We can talk to our kid about how different bits of our body feel different than other bits.
And one of the bits of our body that feels the most wonderful,
is the area around where the clitoris is.
We can say that the clitoris is like our eye –
there’s the bit of the eye we can see,
and there are actually a lot of bits inside us that help the eye to work, that we can’t see.
The clitoris is the same.
And we can say that the clitoris is a bit like the penis,
in that when it feels nice, it gets bigger.
And that’s completely normal.
For more about how to talk about the Glitteris and the Vulva, watch this week's episode of Sitting in a Car here.
And for more about the course I teach,
that helps parents and caring adults just like you stay connected with their kids
while chatting about ‘glitterises’ and so much more,
drop me a DM
so I can tell you the next time it’s running.
It’s starting soon!